Were you looking for an excuse to take five minutes off work and laugh a little? Here we give you a reason to take a whole ten minutes and laugh a lot. Take a look at these awesome, clever tweets we’ve curated for you. We promise you you won’t regret it. Some are so good you’ll be smiling for the rest of the day every time you remember them.
Read on and find out what funny things people have been coming up with in the social media platform that has proven once again brevity is good for the soul.
This Is Not So Bad
One way to know you’ve trapped yourself in one of the circles of hell is when you start a new activity and whoever is in charge proposes you all say a little something about yourselves. Ugh that’s just the worst.
It’s So Confusing
We have to give spiders that: we spend a good part of the year cleaning up the mess they make only to buy fake spider webs to hang all around the house the minute October starts. It’s confusing at best.
No, Thank You
We all are a little tired of that perky, weird aunt that insists on trying to sell us some oily floral-scented stuff that she believes will cure everything that’s wrong with humanity. We can totally relate to this tweet.
That Escalated Quickly
We’ve heard before that the best thing you can do to avoid being actually murdered by a bear is pretend you’re already dead so they’ll lose interest. We never saw that punchline coming, though.
We bet now you won’t be able to get that song out of your head for a whole week at least. Can’t blame you; it really is catchy!
This picture is like the cutest thing we’ve seen all day, we swear. Look at those big eyes and those tiny paws! Whoever came up with the caption is brilliant.
First Of All
We’ve all been there. Our roommates, our siblings, our significant other, or even our kids have been saving some delicious treat they want to get back to later… and we eat it. You know what’s even less cool than that? Lying to their faces and denying it.
Those who believe in God often say He (or She) has got a sense of humour, and that you only have to look at certain details of the creation to prove it. This tweet makes us think they may be right.
Sounds Like A Good Idea
But then everybody would want to have shoes like those and you would never know if you’re being chased by officers of the law or if it’s just some guy from the neighborhood that’s out for his morning run.
Not Fair To Wilson
We love Tom Hanks, we truly do, and we are static he seems to have found happiness in his long relationship with his lovely wife. But we won’t stand there watching poor Wilson suffer without saying a word. How dare you, Tom!
Those Wonderful Years
Having a child is not for everyone. Before you take such a huge step and change your life forever, you should really be sure this is what you want. Nothing will give you back those wonderful years eating pudding right out of the can and watching Netflix until 5 in the morning.
It Was Worth The Shot
Imagine having to spend ten hours on a plane listening to a baby cry. Imagine if you were also responsible for said little human being. That, my friends, must be what hell is like. We don’t blame this person for trying to get out of it.
Spiders Wearing What?
Now this is something we would like to see. Someone gets a cartoonist here so they can sketch what something like this would look like. We could have Pixar’s next great hit right here, guys.
Just when you think you have seen it all, we come here to show you a whole side of Twitter we’re sure you never even guessed existed. That’s right: jokes (and good ones!) about dentists.
We always find funny how some people think mental health issues can be cured with positive thinking and some strategically placed motivational posters around the house. Obviously, the person who tweeted this was being sarcastic.
If you’re looking for some saving tips, here’s one that will come in handy for Halloween season.
Are You Afraid Of The Dark?
This has got to be one of the best jokes we’ve read on Twitter in a while. It’s brilliant;It’s funny; it comes right out of the blue. Kudos to whoever came up with the idea.
That Explains A Lot
The doctor should have guessed what the answer to that question would be the moment they saw the patient walk in with a puppet, really.
Stephen King Style
This really sounds like something the master of horror himself would come up with for one of his best-selling books. Someone call Stephen, we have an idea to pitch him!
It Never Fails
Do you want to get estranged from your family? Do you wish to sever all ties with high school friends and your college roommates? It’s time to discuss political issues on social media! You’ll save thousands in presents this Christmas!
Windows 10 is the stuff nightmares are made of. Whoever thought it would be a good idea to launch that thing? We hope it never makes a comeback.
Looks Just Like You
We get it, new parents are always so excited about their kids, all they want to do is talk about them and show everyone the cute pictures they’ve just taken that morning. Well, we are excited about the fourth season of The Good Place but we don’t go around showing everyone pictures of the cast, so we expect the same self control from them.
At Least You Tried
Been there, done that. We truly envy the people that make a plan to go to the gym and then they go to gym. We usually stay at home eating ice cream right out of the carton and watching Netflix.
In a world where it seems like everyone thinks they should start a podcast, this at least looks like something original. We’re not sure if it’ll be interesting to listen to, but you can’t blame them from trying to make something new.
In show business, just like in life, you win some and you lose some. We hope this person is still motivated to find humor everywhere they go in life. We’re sure there are plenty of people that will find them funny.
Daddy Doesn’t Share Food
Again, think long and hard before deciding that you want to bring a kid into this world if you are not ready to share your food with them. Because they will ask. Every single time they will ask.
Be Right There
We all have that friend that sends a text letting us know they’ll be there soon, ‚they are on their way‘, but it never fools us and we know they are in front of the TV and haven’t even showered yet. And if you don’t have that kind of friend, then you are that kind of friend.
This here sounds like the perfect plot for the comedy of the year. Someone start calling Jim Carrey and Jennifer Aniston and make this happen!
13th Century Style
Have you ever wondered how people did everyday things in the past, when they didn’t have a lot of the things we get to enjoy nowadays? This person has been wondering that, and apparently they have thought about every single detail.
Such a weird thing to request from your carpenter, unless of course you are thinking of directing an Old West movie. In that case, this makes total sense.